Sunday, July 26, 2009, 9:56 PM
"LOVE" tricked me PART 1....that dirty bitch.
Here it goes:
For ages I’ve heard writing will release your inner tension. I don’t think anyone understands the 600-pound of thick ass pressure on my heart. Its funny how I say I don’t think anyone, but how the fuck would I know? That’s my point no one knows. Bringing back the topic, that no one knows what kind of hell I’ve been through and back. If u don’t feel like reading about a 16 y/o broken heart den stop reading. Back to the point of this post. Its something that’s been on my chest for months and damn I’m ready to talk. Its sad I can’t even say these things to my friends without feeling ashamed. Fucked up?? I KNOW!
Young.
That’s exactly what it was.
Day one we took it lightly, never thought it was anything more than a schoolyard crush.
Silly.
The funniest jokes we made.
I always felt opened and free with you.
Surprising? Maybe not to others, but to me it was a big step. Growing up in a household of domestic violence I never open automatically, there was something about ur smile.
It made me feel safe.
Immature.
I know I was quick to say yes to everything, mainly because I was young and having fun.
I don’t regret ANYTHING, but I wonder if I started a hurtful trend?
Did I bring this ending result upon myself??
FAST.
Everything about “us” was fast, our feelings, our decisions, and our damn hormones.
It wasn’t slow and steady as my young mind would imagine, but it felt nice the rush, pushed me further into your atmosphere.
COMPLICATED.
Slowly I found you were as picture perfect as the eye led me to believe.
When did I realize?
Maybe the time, I ruined my name, yea that time.
An embarrassment to my family, to my mother’s hard work,
An embarrassment to myself, I ruined and disobeyed my morels and my god…but why?
FOR YOU.
I don’t think you understood then, or understand now,
It was all for you, every year, day, hour, and minute that passed.
It was all for you.
I thought I made that crystal, the day I broke it down.
The day, I told my mother I don’t care what you think is right,
I know what is right.
On a regular basis, I wouldn’t have the fuckin’ nerve to think about a statement like that.
On that particular evening the power of “LOVE”, ran through me.
I told her, my queen, my hero, my mother
I didn’t care what she thought because I had you.
…..
…………..
………………….
WTF???
Yes, yes, I know, u hypnotized me.
Curse a male’s conniving power to over through your right mind.
Labels: LOVE TRICKED ME PT.1
